This is a big time. A brand new year. I haven't written in my journal for awhile and so it is time...now.

I'm in a rough position.

I'm crazy about this amazing guy. We were in love once upon a time, but youth and time tore us apart. In a 12 year period, we have "found" each other three times everytime that we lost touch. This very last time, we've managed to remain in touch. However, I don't know if these new feelings are ones that are new, or ones that have remained. I am certain these can't be the same feelings that a 14 year old girl once felt. There has been too much to change me, to make me who I am now. There is no possible way that these feelings could have lingered for this long.

However, I'm no expert. How am I to know? Who REALLY knows about love? No one. No one is an expert.

So, my mind is on HIM right now and how in the world we could possibly be together. There is a huge obstacle standing in my way. He's... well, he's married.

I would never try to be a marriage breaker-upper. And I'm not! I maintain that I'm not. But I don't know the exact state his marriage is in. From what I understand, it's not doing very well. But I'm not going to get involved. I just want to be a listening ear if he needs one.

Ugh. I need some resolution to this. I'm just biding my time and playing this one out.